Back Monday 23rd February 1998 Next

by
*** MARK ROBERT STALKER ***

No pressure, man!
Location:
Farnborough, Hampshire
Bodies present: Mark Stalker, Sue Element, Ian Lindsay, Mike Varty, Henry Burrows

Mike: It all started when Helen got delivered to the pizza...

Ray makes an important point to Jimmy
I arrived a little late this night (there's a shock!) to find two fresh faced individuals (Mike and Sue) sitting on the sofa. They were eager to get started and full of hope at the promise of speedy productivity. By the time we closed shop, this evening, they were ideal material for Saturday Night Zombies. And I'm not talking Bob and Kate.

As for Henry, Ian and myself (coughing and spluttering between takes) we were queuing up right behind. Yes, this evening was certainly the hardest that I've witnessed and experienced. Yet, despite the many problems and discussions that took place that evening, Henry left a happy man. The completion of five pages worth of script meant an evening off, no doubt that we could all enjoy tomorrow's pancakes in peace!

Have you had anything to drink this evening, sir?

Yes, Ian most certainly did have a drink that evening. One of the perks when playing a character who's a complete alcoholic. The scene involved here was interesting in-as-much that Ian could only get it right once. Multiple takes of someone opening a can of beer can be very expensive but Ian was spared this contingency, being given only the one can to try. He had to get it right.

Everyone was quite expecting a torrent of uncontrolled froth and ale once open, but all the can had to say was, fizz!

IAN: Greedy little bugger, isn't he?
HENRY: ACTION!

Yes, we've all made the same error, performing our parts before the call. Last night saw me in repetition of this forsaken ill, much to the amusement of my peers. I guess it's divine nemesis for the two takes (involving Ian and Mike) I have laughed at on the Foiled review footage.

Ray tries to fathom
the mysteries of the device
RAY: The Aliens - yes indeed

So, what was it all about?
Well at this point in the film Ray and Laura have just been ushered into the bedroom by Scanner, and Jimmy (quite out-of-it by now) is not at all sure whether the last half-hour has actually occurred. Ray is questioned at length about the aliens and he expounds on various theories, eventually concluding a possible solution to their predicament. All of this involving a detailed examination of the radio stun-device.

What do you want me for?

We finished, late, leaving Mike and Sue to the peace of their own home once more. Henry, myself and Ian left for ours. It was a hard night, what with ghosts altering the position of the microphone while we weren't looking, tape suddenly running out when we were on camera and clocks chiming merrily, throwing well worked scenes into the bin. To top it all off Ian got pulled over by the police.

Ian drove carefully through the quiet streets of Farnborough, taking with him the two passengers to their respective homes. Henry sat in the front passenger seat and Mark on the back seat without wearing his seat-belt. Oops! Something that the police completely failed to notice. Typical!

Policeman: Just doing a spot check, sir, won't keep y' long! And, by the way, have y' had anything to drink y' bar steward!

Ian rightly admitted that he had and the policeman, of course, didn't bother to breathalise. We said our good-byes to the boys in blue and promptly drove off through a red-light. Well almost! Yep, no pressure man!

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